Relationship are part of the
vast plan for our
That's another lesson I've
learned the hard way.
All relationships will die
if they aren't nurtured. Just
flower will die if it's
not watered. Because love is
demonstration, not declaration.
intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when
we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function
independently in a healthy way, can we truly function
within a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when
it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.
|To know when to go away and when to come
is the key to any lasting relationship.
-Doménico Cieri Estrada
of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that
most people enter a relationship in order to get something:
to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality,
way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a
you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.
|Today we are faced with the preeminent fact
that, if civilization is to survive,
we must cultivate the science of human relationships. . . the
of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world,
at peace. -Franklin D. Roosevelt
is only when we no longer compulsively need someone
that we can have a real relationship with them.
more connections you and your lover make, not just between your
but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you
the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you
will experience together.
|Our relationships are our sacred
responsibilities, for they are the framework within
which life is
lived. They show us
where we have more learning and loving to do.
Our interactions with others call up the disabling beliefs
and negative patterns
of behavior we need to release—the
cynicism, anger, resentment, and
jealousy that block love’s
relationships are our mirrors; they reflect
where we are in
consciousness. And if we are willing to face the truth about
relationships offer the lessons that lead to our greatest
transformation. -Susan L. Taylor
must first have a good
with yourself before you can have a
good relationship with others. You have to feel worthwhile and
your own eyes. The more independent you are, the better you'll be
to connect and relate with others.
are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists
it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in
We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.
people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can
get out of them,
rather than what they can put into them. The purpose of a
relationship is to decide
what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not
what part of another you can
capture and hold. The purpose of a relationship is not to
have another who might
complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your
relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
|The most important ingredient we put into any
relationship is not what we
say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our
come from superficial human relations techniques (the Personality
rather than from our own inner core (the Character Ethic), others
sense that duplicity. We simply won't be able to create and
foundation necessary for effective interdependence.
-Stephen R. Covey
|Remember that the
best relationship is one in which your
love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
your relationships, not your possessions.
are the hallmark of the mature person.
|Life is relationships; the rest is just details.
relationship, it is demeaning to constantly seek your partner's
approval. Such relationships are bereft of real caring,
depth, or even love. For those of you who find yourselves in
relationships where you are not treated the way your heart says
you should be, I hope you will have the courage and dignity to
decide that you are better off risking the scorn of your partner
than enduring unhappiness with him or her. -Daisaku Ikeda,
Day by Day
the termites of relationships.
The quality of
your life is the quality of your relationships.
key to long-term relationships is letting someone be different
than they were yesterday. I think one of the main reasons
for divorce is
that couples don't always create the emotional space between them
allow for constant and continuous change. When people say,
apart," it's often a sign that when they entered the
marriage, their emotional
contract didn't include this clause: "I'll let you
grow. You'll let me grow.
We'll learn from each other, and we can grow together."
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When you are in the
final days of your life, what will you want? Will you hug
that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be
carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you
find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of
course not. What will matter then will be people. If
relationships will matter most then, shouldn't they matter most
now? -Max Lucado
caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance,
optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself,
and the ability to give without undue thought of gain. We need to
accept the fact that it's not in the power of any
human being to provide all these things all the time. For any of
us, mutually caring relationships will also include some measure
of unkindness and impatience, intolerance, pessimism, envy,
self-doubt, and disappointment. -Fred
depend not on finding the right person, but on being the right
person. -Eric Butterworth
life" of our emotions and our relationships also is
intermittent. When you love someone you do not love them all
the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It
is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to.
And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so
little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of
relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in
terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We
insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only
continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in
fluidity--in freedom, in the sense that dancers are free, barely
touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The
only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in
demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a
relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in
nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or
anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting
it as it is now. For relationships, too, must be like
islands. One must accept them as they are here and now,
within their limits--islands, surrounded and interrupted by the
sea, continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One
must accept the security of the winged life, of ebb and flow, of
Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
A complete sharing
between two people is an impossibility, and whenever it seems,
nevertheless, to exist, it is a narrowing, a mutual agreement
which robs either one member or both of his or her fullest freedom
and development. But, once the realization is accepted that,
even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue
to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they
succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it
possible for each to see the other, whole and against a wide
I am a big believer
that you have to nourish any relationship. I am still very
much a part of my friends' lives and they are very much a part of
my life. -Nancy Reagan
A relationship is
like a garden. If it is to thrive it must be watered
regularly. Special care must be given, taking into account
the seasons as well as any unpredictable weather. New seeds
must be sown and weeds must be pulled. -John
When we enter into any
relationship with the premise that we are empty and the other
person will fill us in, we are sure to fail. We can only win
when we proceed from wholeness. -Alan
Season, or Lifetime
come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient
this person will say or do something to bring the
relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is
time to move on.
people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is
Building a sound
foundation is hard work. And I still look to my garden when
I forget my lesson. So many times I have blamed my potential
life partners for not being perfect when in act it has been me who
hasn't made the commitment, who hasn't taken the time to get to
know who they are before I made big demands of the relationship.
I rely on my expectations and dreams to provide the foundation on
which I build my goals. And then, of course, I'm
disappointed when I don't harvest the perfect relationship in no
time at all. -Vivian Elisabeth Glyck, 12
Lessons on Life I Learned from My Garden
The reality is that
all relationships inevitably will be dissolved and broken.
The ultimate price exacted for commitment to other human beings
rests in the inescapable fact that loss and pain will be
experienced when they are gone, even to the point of jeopardizing
one's physical health. It is a toll that no one can escape,
and a price that everyone will be forced to pay repeatedly.
Like the rise and fall of the ocean tides, disruptions of human
relationships occur at regular intervals throughout life, and
include the loss of parents, death of a mate, divorce, marital
separation, death of family members, children leaving home, death
of close friends, change of neighborhoods, and loss of
acquaintances by retirement from work. Infancy, adolescence,
middle age, old age--all seasons of life involve human loss.
-James J. Lynch
An honorable human
relationship--that is, one in which two people have the right to
use the word "love"--is a process, delicate, violent,
often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining
the truths they can tell each other. It is important to do
this because in so doing we do justice to our own complexity.
It is important to do this because we can count on so few people
to go that hard way with us. -Adrienne
Your closest relationships are often the ones
that have the most effect on you, but they are frequently the ones
most difficult to change. These relationships are complex
and have long histories. Lifetime habits of avoiding being
really present with each other may exist in many of them.
Family members, for instance, might want to support you, but will
not necessarily know how to genuinely listen or be present with
you in a way that is enlivening. . . . Even with the best
intentions, it can be very difficult to get beyond the past and
into the Now. -Richard Moss
The people we are
close to are important. We should treat them as our
treasures. When dealing with others, we should always be
sincere and polite. Nothing is stronger than sincerity.
I have made many friends around the world and made
them all with the same sincerity. A relationship built with
sincerity will never be destroyed, but relationships built by
means of tactics and scheming always collapse in the end.
Day by Day
For over 75 years,
Harvard's Grant and Glueck study has tracked the physical and
emotional well-being of two populations: 456 poor men
growing up in Boston from 1939 to 2014 (the Grant study), and 268
male graduates from Harvard's classes of 1939-1944 (the Glueck
Due to the length of the research period, this has
required multiple generations of researchers. Since before
World War II, they've diligently analyzed blood samples, conducted
brain scans (once they became available), and pored over
self-reported surveys, as well as actual interactions with these
men, to compile the findings.
The conclusion? According to Robert Waldinger,
director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one thing
surpasses all the rest in terms of importance:
The clearest message that we get from this 75-year
study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and
healthier. Period." -reported by
Melanie Curtin, Inc.com
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