Quotes for
the Journey:

Relationships


Relationship are part of the
vast plan for our enlightenment.

Marianne Williamson

   

That's another lesson I've learned the hard way.  All relationships will die if they aren't nurtured.  Just as a flower will die if it's not watered. Because love is demonstration, not declaration.        -Patti LaBelle

   

An intimate relationship does not banish loneliness. Only when we are comfortable with who we are can we truly function independently in a healthy way, can we truly function within a relationship. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes.       -Patricia Fry

   
To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.        -Doménico Cieri Estrada
   

Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.         -Anthony Robbins

   
Today we are faced with the preeminent fact that, if civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships. . . the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world, at peace.        -Franklin D. Roosevelt
    
It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them.       -Anthony Storr

  
The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together.        -Barbara De Angelis
    
Our relationships are our sacred responsibilities, for they are the framework within which life is lived.  They show us where we have more learning and loving to do.  Our interactions with others call up the disabling beliefs and negative patterns of behavior we need to release—the cynicism, anger, resentment, and jealousy that block love’s flow.  Our relationships are our mirrors; they reflect where we are in consciousness.  And if we are willing to face the truth about ourselves, our relationships offer the lessons that lead to our greatest transformation.        -Susan L. Taylor
   
You must first have a good relationship with yourself before you can have a good relationship with others. You have to feel worthwhile and acceptable in your own eyes. The more independent you are, the better you'll be able to connect and relate with others.       -Gary Emery
    
Relationships are all there is.  Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else.  Nothing exists in isolation.  We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.         -Margaret J. Wheatley
    
Most people enter into relationships with an eye toward what they can get out of them, rather than what they can put into them.  The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you'd like to see "show up," not what part of another you can capture and hold.  The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.        -Neale Donald Walsch
     
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.       -Mike Murdoch
   
The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques (the Personality Ethic) rather than from our own inner core (the Character Ethic), others will sense that duplicity. We simply won't be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.        -Stephen R. Covey
   
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.         -unattibuted
     
Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.        -Anthony D'Angelo
   
Relationships are the hallmark of the mature person.        -Brian Tracy
   
Life is relationships; the rest is just details.        -Gary Smalley
   
In a relationship, it is demeaning to constantly seek your partner's approval.  Such relationships are bereft of real caring, depth, or even love.  For those of you who find yourselves in relationships where you are not treated the way your heart says you should be, I hope you will have the courage and dignity to decide that you are better off risking the scorn of your partner than enduring unhappiness with him or her.    -Daisaku Ikeda, Buddhism Day by Day
    
Assumptions are the termites of relationships.        - Henry Winkler
   
The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.       -Anthony Robbins

     

The key to long-term relationships is letting someone be different today than they were yesterday.  I think one of the main reasons for divorce is that couples don't always create the emotional space between them to allow for constant and continuous change.  When people say, "We grew apart," it's often a sign that when they entered the marriage, their emotional contract didn't include this clause:  "I'll let you grow.  You'll let me grow.  We'll learn from each other, and we can grow together."         -Marianne Williamson

  

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When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?  Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame?  Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car?  Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement?  Of course not.  What will matter then will be people.  If relationships will matter most then, shouldn't they matter most now?     -Max Lucado
  
Mutually caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other's achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain. We need to accept the fact that it's not in the power of any human being to provide all these things all the time. For any of us, mutually caring relationships will also include some measure of unkindness and impatience, intolerance, pessimism, envy, self-doubt, and disappointment.     -Fred Rogers
  
Happy relationships depend not on finding the right person, but on being the right person.     -Eric Butterworth
  
The "veritable life" of our emotions and our relationships also is intermittent.  When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment.  It is an impossibility.  It is even a lie to pretend to.  And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.  We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships.  We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb.  We are afraid it will never return.  We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity--in freedom, in the sense that dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.  The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even.  Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.  For relationships, too, must be like islands.  One must accept them as they are here and now, within their limits--islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, continually visited and abandoned by the tides.  One must accept the security of the winged life, of ebb and flow, of intermittency.     -Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
  

  
A complete sharing between two people is an impossibility, and whenever it seems, nevertheless, to exist, it is a narrowing, a mutual agreement which robs either one member or both of his or her fullest freedom and development.  But, once the realization is accepted that, even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other, whole and against a wide sky!     -Rainer Maria Rilke
  
I am a big believer that you have to nourish any relationship.  I am still very much a part of my friends' lives and they are very much a part of my life.     -Nancy Reagan
  
A relationship is like a garden.  If it is to thrive it must be watered regularly.  Special care must be given, taking into account the seasons as well as any unpredictable weather.  New seeds must be sown and weeds must be pulled.     -John Gray
  
When we enter into any relationship with the premise that we are empty and the other person will fill us in, we are sure to fail.  We can only win when we proceed from wholeness.     -Alan Cohen
  

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

unattributed

  
Building a sound foundation is hard work.  And I still look to my garden when I forget my lesson.  So many times I have blamed my potential life partners for not being perfect when in act it has been me who hasn't made the commitment, who hasn't taken the time to get to know who they are before I made big demands of the relationship.  I rely on my expectations and dreams to provide the foundation on which I build my goals.  And then, of course, I'm disappointed when I don't harvest the perfect relationship in no time at all.     -Vivian Elisabeth Glyck, 12 Lessons on Life I Learned from My Garden
  
The reality is that all relationships inevitably will be dissolved and broken.  The ultimate price exacted for commitment to other human beings rests in the inescapable fact that loss and pain will be experienced when they are gone, even to the point of jeopardizing one's physical health.  It is a toll that no one can escape, and a price that everyone will be forced to pay repeatedly.  Like the rise and fall of the ocean tides, disruptions of human relationships occur at regular intervals throughout life, and include the loss of parents, death of a mate, divorce, marital separation, death of family members, children leaving home, death of close friends, change of neighborhoods, and loss of acquaintances by retirement from work.  Infancy, adolescence, middle age, old age--all seasons of life involve human loss.     -James J. Lynch
  
An honorable human relationship--that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word "love"--is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.  It is important to do this because in so doing we do justice to our own complexity.  It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.     -Adrienne Rich
  
Your closest relationships are often the ones that have the most effect on you, but they are frequently the ones most difficult to change.  These relationships are complex and have long histories.  Lifetime habits of avoiding being really present with each other may exist in many of them.  Family members, for instance, might want to support you, but will not necessarily know how to genuinely listen or be present with you in a way that is enlivening. . . . Even with the best intentions, it can be very difficult to get beyond the past and into the Now.     -Richard Moss
  
The people we are close to are important.  We should treat them as our treasures.  When dealing with others, we should always be sincere and polite.  Nothing is stronger than sincerity.
   I have made many friends around the world and made them all with the same sincerity.  A relationship built with sincerity will never be destroyed, but relationships built by means of tactics and scheming always collapse in the end.

Daisaku Ikeda
Buddhism Day by Day
   
For over 75 years, Harvard's Grant and Glueck study has tracked the physical and emotional well-being of two populations:  456 poor men growing up in Boston from 1939 to 2014 (the Grant study), and 268 male graduates from Harvard's classes of 1939-1944 (the Glueck study).
   Due to the length of the research period, this has required multiple generations of researchers.  Since before World War II, they've diligently analyzed blood samples, conducted brain scans (once they became available), and pored over self-reported surveys, as well as actual interactions with these men, to compile the findings.
   The conclusion?  According to Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one thing surpasses all the rest in terms of importance:
   The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:  Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.  Period."    -reported by Melanie Curtin, Inc.com
   

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