Quotes for
the Journey:

Parenting

   
  
Parents often talk about
the younger generation as if they
didn't have anything to do with it.

Haim Ginott

   

I get so sick and tired of hearing people gripe about what their parents did to them.  You know what your parents did to you?  The best thing they could do.  The best thing they knew how, the only thing in many cases that they knew how.  Nobody has set out maliciously to hurt their child, unless they were psychotic.     -Leo Buscaglia, Living, Loving, and Learning

   

Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.     -Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance"

   
Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity--a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother.     -Rose Kennedy
   
The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.     -Frank Pittman
    
As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we're talking to them that our kids aren't listening.     -Robert Brault
   
Parents who have never apologized to their children are monsters.  If they're always apologizing, their children are monsters.     -Mignon McLaughlin

    
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.      -Joyce Maynard
   
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

Diane Loomans
"If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"
  
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his or her parents every time around--and why the parents will always wave back.     -William D. Tammeus
   
Our parents can show us a lot of things: they can show us how we are to be and what things we ought to strive for, or they can show us how not to be and what things we ought to stray from, then you may have the kind of parents that show you all the things about you that you want to get rid of and you realize those traits aren't yours at all but are merely your parents' marks that have rubbed off onto you.     -C. JoyBell C
   
No matter how far we come, our parents are always in us.     -Brad Meltzer, The Inner Circle
  

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Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the childrenís strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms even if it doesnít comprehend. Donít ask for advice from them and donít expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is strength and blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.     -Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
   
The job of every generation is to discover the flaws of the one that came before it. That's part of growing up, figuring out all the ways your parents and their friends are broken.     -Justine Larbalestier
   
All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.     -Mitch Albom
   
We realized that the version of the world they rendered for us was not the version of the world they really believed in.     -Jeffrey Eugenides
   
Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory.  The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is the nature of children of a certain age to cringe with embarrassment, shame, and mortification should their parents so much as speak to them on the street.     -Neil Gaiman
  
Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did--that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that--a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.     -Debra Ginsberg
   
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived life of the parents.     -Carl Jung
   
Parenthood. . . It's about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.     -Peter Krause
   
If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all kinds of mistakes and maybe sometimes they even give you awful advice, but never for one moment do you doubt their love for you--if you have this, you have incredibly good fortune.

If you have two parents who love you? You have won life's Lotto.

If you do not have parents, or if the parents you have are so broken and so, frankly, terrible that they are no improvement over nothing, this is fine.

It's not ideal because it's harder without adults who love you more than they love themselves. But harder is just harder, that's all.

Augusten Burroughs
This Is How
   

   
Wanting what's best for your kids is all about the child. It's about helping them find something they are passionate about so they are intrinsically driven to reveal the strengths that God gave them, whether in art, music, sports, writing, academics, or community service.
   Wanting them to be the best is all about me. My expectations.  My fears. So I yell at them from the stands, correct them after lessons, and coax them into activities that suck the fun out of childhood. And in the process, I teach them that their worth is wrapped up in how they perform. I teach them that second place is losing. I teach them that judgment is more important than love and acceptance.
    And it is so wrong.     -Scott Dannemiller
   
As parents, we must be convinced of our beliefs.  We must know where we stand, so that our children will know where they stand.     -Kim Boyce
  
Children are naturally inquisitive and love to try new things.  But they cannot find these things by themselves; someone must offer them the choices.  Years ago, when the Quiz Kids were astonishing American radio audiences with their brilliance, a writer set out to discover what common denominators there were in the backgrounds of these extraordinary children.  He found that some were from poor families, some from rich; some had been to superior schools, some had not.
   But, in every case investigated, there was one parent, sometimes two, who shared enthusiasms with the child, who watched for areas of interest, who gave encouragement and praise for achievement, who made a game of searching out the answers to questions, who went out of the way to supply the tools of learning.  No doubt the capacity for outstanding performance was already there, but it took the love and interest and companionship of a parent to bring it out.     -Arthur Gordon, A Touch of Wonder
    

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