much as I would miss my wife if she were to die,
I would miss what we are together even
more. Our "we-ness," our "us-ness."
After all these years, I see that I was
mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live
outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
are often enamored with my Super Bowl ring. But it's
my wedding ring that I'm most proud of. And having a good
marriage takes even more work than winning a Super Bowl.
I pay very little regard. . . to what a young
says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a
disinclination for it, I only set it down that they
haven't seen the right person yet.
didn't marry you because
were perfect. I didn't
you. I married you
gave me a
made up for
faults. And the promise
made up for
and it was the
marriage. And when
children were growing up,
wasn't a house that
wasn't our love
protected them--it was that promise.
marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather
than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts,
an enabler rather than a reformer.
Wright and Gary J. Oliver
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in
a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is tahtthe frist and
lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Guess this means I don't have to feel so bad about my
spelling. Also makes me think we should be
able to apply this principle to marital communication. Try
to listen for the meaning instead of nit-picking
at the fine points. -Diane
those "and they lived happily ever after" fairy tale
endings need to be
changed to "and they began the very hard work of making their
marriages happy." -Linda
Then Almitra spoke again and said, And what of marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days,
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
marriages begin when we marry the ones we love,
and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
very neat. My wife is messy--never picks anything up.
Doesn't even notice the mess--it's below her radar. I cured
myself from my annoyance with her by imagining that she had died
and then asking myself, "If you could bring her back to life
still be messy, leave clutter all over the house--5 pairs of shoes
living room, would you still want her back?" "Yes,
And it cured me. Whenever I get annoyed
with her mess, I rerun the script.
great marriage is not when the
"perfect couple" comes together
It is when an imperfect couple learns
to enjoy their differences.
good marriage is one which allows for
change and growth in the individuals and
in the way they express their love.
|It is not a lack of love, but a lack of
that makes unhappy marriages.
keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.
you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be the shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be the warmth to the other.
Now there is no loneliness for you,
now there is no more loneliness.
Now you are two persons, but there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
to enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon this earth.
kind of marriage you make depends upon the kind of person
you are. If you are a happy, well-adjusted person, the
your marriage will be a happy one. If you have made
adjustments so far
with more satisfaction than distress, you are likely to make your
marriage and family adjustments satisfactorily. If you are
and bitter about your lot in life, you will have to change before
you can expect to live happily ever after.
Duvall and Reuben Hill
|Marriage is not just spiritual communion;
it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Art Of Marriage
marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big
things. . .
never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least
once each day.
never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole
speaking words of appreciation and
demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not
only marrying the right partner. . .
It is being the right partner.
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people may have differences and periods of weariness and boredom,
but they have also built up an axis of relationships that
constitutes a steady center. There's a story by Flannery
O'Connor in which she tells about an old couple who had lived in
the Appalachians all their lives in a little cabin overlooking the
opposite mountain. They were sitting there--both very aged
people--in their rocking chairs on a spring day. The man
said, "Well, Sarah, I see there's still some snow up there on
the mountain." Now he knew there was snow on the
mountain every year. So why does he have to say it?
Because to perceive that, to know at times there is snow and at
times there is not snow--this was part of the observation of an
eternal rhythm which made their life together. In marriage
you say the same things over and over, you inquire about the same
people; and this is ho-hum in one way. But it is
breathtaking in another. -Joseph A.
Sittler, Grace Notes and Other Fragments
never does a marriage develop into an individual relationship
smoothly and without crisis. There is no birth of
consciousness without pain. -Carl
Vital C's in Marriage:
is something a person has to decide to experience.
Lifelong monogamous devotion is just not naturalónot for women
even, and emphatically not for men. It requires what, for lack of
a better term, we can call an act of will. . . . This isn't to say
that a young person can't hope to be seized by love. . . . But
whether the sheer fury of one's feelings accurately gauges their
likely endurance is another question. The ardor will surely
fade, sooner or later, and the marriage will then live or die on
respect, practical compatibility, simple affection, and (these
days, especially) determination. With the help of these things,
something worthy of the label 'love' can last until death. But it
will be a different kind of love from the kind that began the
marriage. Will it be a richer love, a deeper love, a more
spiritual love? Opinions vary. But it's certainly a more
impressive love. -Robert Wright, The
|I know some
good marriages--marriages where both people are just trying to get
through their days by helping each other, being good to each
other. -Erica Jong
you don't need a formal written contract before you get married, I
think it's important for both partners to spell out what they
expect from each other. . . . There are always plenty of
surprises--and lots of give and take--once you're
married. -Muriel Fox
|Why do so many marriages fail?
Because nobody gets taught how to be married. We're
not taught how to pick a mate, or why to pick a mate; we don't
know how to manage our emotions once we're in a marriage; we don't
know how to resolve marital conflict. Married people have
never been taught why they or their spouses feel the way they do
and act the way they do. Nobody has ever taught us the
fundamentals. -Phil McGraw
|To marry a
woman with any success a man must have a total experience of her,
he must come to see her and accept her in time as well as in
space. Besides coming to love what she is now, he must also
come to realize and love equally the baby and the child she once
was, and the middle-aged woman and the old lady she will
eventually become. -James Keyes
when will there be an end of marrying? I suppose, when there
is an end of living. -Quintus Tertullian
|Love is an
ideal thing, marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real
with the ideal never goes unpunished. -Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
is not a matter of creating a quick community of spirit by tearing
down and destroying all boundaries, but rather a good marriage is
that in which each appoints the other guardian of his or her
solitude. . . . Once the realization is accepted that even between
the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a
wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in
loving the distance between them no less than one
"I" to become "we" and yet remain
"I," is one of the great challenges of marriage.
|A happy marriage is the union
of two good forgivers. -Robert Quillen
is not a reform school. -Ann Landers
and wife are like the two equal parts of a soybean. If the two
parts are put under the earth separately, they will not grow.
The soybean will grow only when the parts are covered by the skin.
Marriage is the skin which covers each of them and makes them one.
do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of
tiny threads which sew people together through the years.
That is what makes a marriage last--more than passion or even sex.
|Seldom, or perhaps never, does
a marriage develop into an individual relationship smoothly and
without crises; there is no coming to consciousness without pain.
Home - About -
- abundance - acceptance
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self - self-love -
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silence - simplicity
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stories - strength
success - suffering
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talent - the tapestry of
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today - tolerance
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truth - values - vanity
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war - wealth - weight - winter -
- women -
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- youth -
Dale Carnegie - Albert Einstein - Ralph
Waldo Emerson - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross -
Helen Keller - Mother
Teresa - Eleanor Roosevelt
Swett Marden - Albert Schweitzer - Aristotle
Mohandas Gandhi - Wilferd
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