Quotes for
the Journey:

Hatred



  
Hatred toward any human being
cannot exist in the same
heart as love to God.

Dean William Inge

anger

I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.       -James Baldwin
   

Life is full of painful events, and people who have lost their way and hurt others.  Our pain is not lessened when we respond with hatred.  In fact, the opposite occurs:  When we hate people who hurt us, we come to resemble what we hate, or worse, and then we suffer all the more.  What is evil is our response.  We have choices, and love is the most powerful eliminator of all.       -Bernie Siegel

   

When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us:  power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us!  Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our days and nights into a hellish turmoil.      -Dale Carnegie

   

Hatred, I consider, is just a standing reproach to the hated person, and owes all its meaning to a demand for love.       -Ian Suttie

   

We may fight against what is wrong, but if we allow ourselves to hate, that is to insure our spiritual defeat and our likeness to what we hate.       -George William Russell

    

I will permit no person to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him or her.         -Booker T. Washington

  
When you hear a person say, "I hate," adding the name of some race, nation, religion, or social class, you are dealing with a belated mind.  That person may dress like a modern, ride in an automobile, listen to the radio, but his or her mind is properly dated about 1000 B.C.        -Harry Emerson Fosdick

   
Humans can be the most affectionate and altruistic of creatures, yet they're potentially more vicious than any other.  They are the only ones who can be persuaded to hate millions of their own kind whom they have never seen and to kill as many as they can lay their hands on in the name of their tribe or their God.       -Benjamin Spock
   

I have also decided to stick with love, for I know that love is ultimately the only answer to humankind's problems.  I've seen too much hate on the faces of sheriffs in the South.  I've seen hate on the faces of too many Klansmen and too many White Citizens Councilors in the South to want to hate, myself, because every time I see it, I know that it does something to their faces and their personalities, and I say to myself that hate is too great a burden to bear.  I have decided to love.  If you are seeking the highest good, I think you can find it through love.  Those who hate do not know God, but those who love have the key that unlocks the door to the meaning of ultimate reality.        -Martin Luther King Jr.

   
My stepkids get a bit upset when I tell them not to use the word "hate" when they talk about other people.  "The word's too strong," I tell them, "and it means too much that you don't really want to say."

"But I don't mean that I really 'hate' them," is the typical response that I hear.

"Then you don't need to use that word, do you?"  I ask.  The usual response to this comment is "whatever," the same response that we hear to many different situations.  I try to make a point of letting them know that at least to some people, casual use of words such as "hate" aren't acceptable in most situations.  Most people don't care, but I do -- hatred is a quality that's always destructive, never helpful or constructive, and always unpleasant.

Hatred leads us to do or say things that we normally wouldn't say because they go against that important inner voice, our conscience.  Hatred blinds us to the good and keeps us focusing on the bad, no matter what another person or other persons may be doing.  If we hate, a person could save a family from a burning house, and we would still see the actions as self-serving -- we could even accuse the person of saving the family because he or she wanted the glory of being a hero.

When we hate, our blindness leads us to commit acts that destroy -- they can destroy friendships, business deals, relationships, even human lives.  The terrorist attacks of September, 2001, were a strong example of the results of hatred; the people who committed those acts were so caught up in their hatred that they could think only of destruction and causing pain and damage.  In all the training that they received, their hatred was constantly reinforced by other people who hated the same "enemy," because those people who taught them knew the value of hatred in getting someone to do something that they normally wouldn't even consider.

When we hate, we destroy our own happiness and love of life.  Our focus is constantly on the negative aspects that we see in another person or group of people.  We focus on some sort of "wrong" that was done to us so strongly that the right and the beautiful that surround us every day become clouded and dim, even invisible, and that's completely our doing -- the people we hate have nothing to do with it.  We choose to focus so strongly on what we choose to hate that we give up the possibility of helping ourselves by focusing on what is good.

Hatred is a choice, a choice made due to weakness, due usually to a feeling of powerlessness.  We choose an object of hatred because of our own perceived lack of power, whether we truly are powerless or not.  This object of hatred makes us feel "good" in a warped way -- our hatred gives us a sense of righteousness, a sense of power over those we hate.  But peace of mind, compassion, and acceptance can do the same thing, only in a positive, constructive way rather than in a negative, destructive way.

Do you hate?  You shouldn't, for it's hurting you.  It's holding you back and keeping you down, and ironically, those you hate probably don't even know about your hatred or aren't letting it get to them, so you're hurting yourself without even accomplishing what you hope to accomplish.  Let go of the hatred, for you don't deserve the kind of pain it's causing you, and you'll love the feeling of freedom that comes when you're able to live your life without it.

   

    
I make it a practice to avoid hating anyone.  If someone's been guilty of despicable actions, especially toward me, I try to forget him or her.  I used to follow a practice--somewhat contrived, I admit--to write the person's name on a piece of scrap paper, drop it into the lowest drawer of my desk, and say to myself:  "That finishes the incident, and so far as I'm concerned, that person."
   The drawer became over the years a sort of private wastebasket for crumpled-up spite and discarded personalities.  Besides, it seemed to be effective, and helped me avoid harboring useless black feelings.       -Dwight D. Eisenhower
    

   
Hatred cannot last unless it is continuously nourished and stimulated.     -Edmund A. Brasset
  
Hate gets going, it goes round, it gets older and tighter and older and tighter, until it holds a person inside it like a fist holds a stick.     -Ursula K. LeGuin
  
Meet hatred with hatred and you degrade yourself.  Meet hatred with love and you not only elevate yourself but also the person who bears you hatred.     -Ralph Waldo Trine
  
Hate smolders and eventually destroys, not the hated but the hater.     -Dorothy Thompson
   
Hatred is the vice of narrow souls; they feed it with all their littleness, and make it the pretext of base tyrannies.     -Honore de Balzac
  
If you hate a person, you hate something in him or her that is part of yourself.  What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.     -Hermann Hesse
   
  
It is dangerous and harmful to be guided in our life's course by hatreds and aversions, for they are wasteful of energy and limit and twist the mind and prevent it from perceiving the truth.     -Jawaharlal Nehru
  
What if someone hurts you with a weapon?  Wait.  Think it over.  You probably feel angry.  That's normal.  But wasn't it the stick striking your body that hurt you?  Can you be angry at the stick?  Of course not.  Should you be angry at the wielder of the stick?  Wouldn't it make more sense to be angry at the hatred in the mind of the stick wielder?  If you think about it, isn't the end of hatred in the world what you want most of all?  Why, then, would you add to it by giving energy to your anger?  After all, it will pass on its own if left alone, especially if you respond to it with compassion.     -Sylvia Boorstein
  
If you hate your enemies, you will contract such a vicious habit of mind that it will break out upon those who are your friends, or those who are indifferent to you.     -Plutarch
   
If I wanted to punish an enemy it should be by fastening on him or her the trouble of constantly hating somebody.      -Hannah More
  

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