Anger 2     

Quotes for
the Journey:


They are fools who cannot
be angry; but they are
wise people who will not.


When I was a girl, my temper often got out of bounds.  But one day when I became angry at a friend over some trivial matter, my mother said to me, "Elizabeth, anyone who angers you conquers you."       -Elizabeth Kenny

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at a high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.       -Maggie Scarf

The source of peace is within us; so also the source of war.  And the real enemy is within us, and not outside.  The source of war is not the existence of nuclear weapons or other arms.  It is the minds of human beings who decide to push the button and to use those arms out of hatred, anger or greed.   -the Dalai Lama

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly--hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.       -Joan Rivers


Anger is not only inevitable, it is necessary.  Its absence means indifference, the most disastrous of all human failings.      -Arthur Ponsoby


Those who smile rather than rage are always the stronger.       -Japanese wisdom

Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he or she deserves it. . . . Don't allow his or her anger to become your anger.    -Bohdi Sanders, Warrior Wisdom

No person can think clearly when his or her fists are clenched.      -George Jean Nathan


How could I feel so miserable in the midst of such splendor?  The question flashed through me all at once, not waiting for words to express it.  The answer came more slowly:  No one makes you angry.  Anger, like love, is something you choose.  Stunned, I sat down in the middle of the field I'd been walking through.  I knew I needed to look within myself, let go of my anger and have a quiet talk with God.      -Susan L. Taylor

Anger destroys the angry person and all those around him or her. The angry father can cause fear and terror among his children. The angry wife and mother can manipulate with a force and subtlety that can be felt for years.  Open anger roars through human relations with a destructive force--a firestorm.  The hidden anger that burns and attacks and manipulates can last for years.  It destroys the underbrush; it twists and poisons the ground growth.  And so with us. The ferocious exterior flame is uncontrollable except over a long period of work and time. We must isolate our anger and allow it to burn itself out.      -Edward J. Lavin, S.J.

As long as anger lives, she continues to be the fruitful mother of many unhappy children.      -St. John Climacus


Anger in its time and place,
May assume a kind of grace.
It must have some reason in it,
And not last beyond a minute.
If to further lengths it go,
It does into malice grow.
'Tis the difference we can see
'Twixt the serpent and the bee.
If the latter you provoke,
It inflicts a hasty stroke,
Put you to some little pain,
But it never stings again.

Close in tufted bush or brake
Lurks the poison-swelled snake
Nursing up his cherished wrath;
In the purlieus* of his path,
In the cold, or in the warm,
Mean him good, or mean him harm,
Wheresoever fate may bring you
The vile snake will always sting you.

Charles and Mary Lamb

*place where one goes often


Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.      -Cherie Carter-Scott


Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.      -Ambrose Bierce

     Ruby stepped toward him. "Edward," she said softly. It was the first time she had called him by name. "Learn this from me.  Holding anger is a poison.  It eats you from inside.  We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us.  But hatred is a curved blade.  And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
     "Forgive, Edward.  Forgive.  Do you remember the lightness you felt when you first arrived in heaven?"
     Eddie did.  Where is my pain?
     "That's because no one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel it."
     She touched his hand.
     "You need to forgive your father."

Mitch Albom
from The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Anger 2   

Eugene Carman

Rhodes' slave! Selling shoes and gingham,
Flour and bacon, overalls, clothing, all day long
For fourteen hours a day for three hundred and thirteen days
for more than twenty years.
Saying "Yes'm" and "Yes, sir" and "Thank you"
A thousand times a day, and all for fifty dollars a month.
Living in this stinking room in the rattle-trap "Commercial."
And compelled to go to Sunday School, and to listen
To the Rev. Abner Peet one hundred and four times a year
For more than an hour at a time,
Because Thomas Rhodes ran the church
As well as the store and the bank.
So while I was tying my neck-tie that morning
I suddenly saw myself in the glass:
My hair all gray, my face like a sodden pie.
So I cursed and cursed: You damned old thing!
You cowardly dog! You rotten pauper!
You Rhodes' slave! Till Roger Baughman
Thought I was having a fight with someone,
And looked through the transom just in time
To see me fall on the floor in a heap
From a broken vein in my head.

Edgar Lee Masters
from Spoon River Anthology


The angry person reacts in anger and causes others to be angry, and a cycle begins.  My hope is that I'm able to be a person who ends such a cycle, a person who reacts to anger with love and understanding, because the angry people need that more than anything else.  Reacting in anger is merely perpetuating these people's belief that their anger is justified, but reacting in love may get them to question whether or not their anger is justified, effective, and/or helpful to them. . . . When I'm tempted to react angrily myself, I try to remember to ask myself this question:  Am I contributing to the anger in the world, or am I contributing to the peace and love in the world?  I need to contribute to the love--we all do. Love is the only power that can cause a permanent change.      -Tom Walsh
Angry people are insecure people.  Anger becomes a face-saving device to cover up deficiencies of another sort.  Don't be fooled by the domineering character of an angry person.  Know that during moments of anger there dwells a poor self-image.        -Shantidasa

Anger is the most futile emotion one can experience.  It is totally negative and feeds on one's irrational, vindictive, and punitive nature.  It accomplishes nothing but a wider rift between persons, a growing dissatisfaction with self, and empty feeling where loving understanding ought to be.       -Louise Doud
Anger is the wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.      -Robert Ingersoll
Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.       -Joyce Brothers
Therapists want to help us throw out what is unwanted and keep only what is wanted.  But what is left may not be very much.  If we try to throw away what we donít want, we may throw away most of ourselves.  Instead of acting as if we can dispose of parts of ourselves, we should learn the art of transformation.  We can transform our anger, for example, into something more wholesome, like understanding.  We do not need surgery to remove our anger.  If we become angry at our anger, we will have two angers at the same time.  We only have to observe it with love and attention.  If we take care of our anger this way, without trying to run away from it, it will transform itself.  This is peacemaking.  If we are peaceful in ourselves, we can make peace with our anger.  We can deal with depression, anxiety, fear, or any unpleasant feeling in the same way.        -Thich Nhat Hanh

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When you're genuinely angry, it means one of two things:  either something that your essential self needs is absent, or something your essential self can't tolerate is present.  To make the anger go away, you have to change the situation.  That isn't possible if you don't know what's making you angry.  However, pinpointing the source of anger is often more difficult than identifying the cause of fear and grief.  That's because anger is so volatile, so fraught with danger.  We may be loath to turn it on a person we love, or a job we desperately need, because we equate anger with absolute destruction of the relationship.  The truth, of course, is that we ruin our relationships (to things or people) when we harbor anger without acting on it.  No matter how frightening or irrational your anger may seem, acknowledging that you are angry is the first step toward a peaceful and cooperative connection with the world around you.     -Martha Beck, Finding Your Own North Star
In living our day-to-day life, we may have been involved in situations where tempers flared out of control.  Although anger may be considered a natural, self-protective reaction in moments of great frustration, "meeting fire with fire" often seems to compound the problem.  Usually a moderate approach is best, and water, not fire, extinguishes a fire.  The writer of the book of Proverbs acknowledged this truth when he wrote, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."  Learning the art of giving "a soft answer" can give you an advantage in moments of great tension, when emotions tend to take over.     -John Marks Templeton, Worldwide Laws of Life

Anger 2   

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